Sword Fighting With Baguettes

Running down the uniform rows, I don’t know where the others are. They might be on my heels, or the other side of the world. Turning around the corner into produce, I see my opponent pointing a baguette at my throat.

I’m assuming you’ve probably never have had a swordfight with baguettes. Well, you’re missing out on a lot. I often say that my life is a whole lot of crazy. Well, you’ve still haven’t heard of my trips to the grocery store. I’m horribly embarrassing, to people I know and don’t. I was at our friendly neighborhood Publix, and of course, embarrassing my mom. I dance in the isles (not very well), I talk to the nice guy who hands out sushi (who, by the way, my friend thinks doesn't exist. Well, I'm not just hallucinating him, he's not in hiding or mysterious), and hit people with baguettes. Yes, you heard me right, I hit people with baguettes. Walking behind my mom, screaming at her, “Huzzah!” I whack her and anyone near me in the back with baguettes, very link-like. 

 Eventually it gets to the point where my mom finally says “stop hitting people with baguettes, you’re embarrassing me!” Huh, a mom embarrassed by her kid. That rarely happens, at any age.